You may have watched this video before as it got more than 600,000 views on Youtube. And many people from their twenties found it so inspiring and encouraging.
It did work on me. It did warn and remind me what I have been thinking for long: I almost giving up growing and just stay and waiting for my 30’s coming.
20 till now, i’ve been through university, post graduate and my very first job. Changing from a city to another, found new faith in my life, dating and stop dating, being a student and being an OL. When reviewing the past, it seems that I have leant and walked through a lot. Yes, technically, I do experienced a lot and start new life in new environment. But compare to my high school years, I could feel my life is running off and I’m so struggle and hesitate for new future.
I’m concerning about my identity, about my job, about the city i stay, about the life I will have in the coming years.
I’m upset about myself, about my heart and passion, about my ambition and my willingness.
I’m unsatisfied with the current situation, that I have to work stressfully and tired that I merely have time for other things.
I’m easy to come with so many ideas and plans to make myself interesting and abundant, but I failed to do so. I’m good at making plans, good at interrupting the execution and good at forgiving myself for not consistent. Now I feel my health is getting worse, my time is running out and my goals and plans are still hanging there because of my hesitation and laziness.
I have treated my graduation and getting the job as a finishing point, as I’m used to have final exam and followed by holiday. But actually there is no finishing point, there is no holiday that we could just do nothing and wait for the new start. New start is tomorrow, new start is now. How many of us have stopped growing after graduation, stopped learning, stopped preparing for exams? I am and it feels bad of wasting time.
I still don’t know my direction and my future. But i will try, like the video, not to treat my twenties as a time or a holiday that i could waste. I cannot stop growing and I don’t want to stop growing. I want to change, i want to learn, i want to move and i want my life meaningful.
Finishing my first blog in English, short but happy! 🙂